Instead of telling someone what to do, or telling them what they did, change it to form a question. Avoid loaded questions that assume things that are not mutually understood or that carry with them accusations. Manipulation is something to avoid. You can still convey your excitement, sadness, disappointment, etc. about it, but asking instead of telling is much gentler. The questions will also often allow the person to think about what you're asking in such a way that they come to realizations that they wouldn't otherwise.
This applies to children and adults in interacting with others. It greatly reduces chances of offending others, and helps you to act more humbly. As parents, we can use these three words to teach our children through repetition of this simple rule to communicate better with us and with others. Ideally in doing so, we will restate it in the form of a question :) such as “Will you please ask instead of telling?”
By following this simple rule, our lives will be happier, and our relationships will improve greatly.
