Dealing with a flood of negative criticism can be very unnerving. It brings a whole new meaning to the word "patience".
When I was a missionary (for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), I had an unforgettable experience. My companion and I were walking down a street and we heard someone calling, "Elders!" I got excited. We didn't know them, yet just by how they addressed us, they seemed to know about us and what we do. They invited us to come onto their porch where a small group of people were sitting. They seemed pleasant and we started to get to know them a little.
When we asked them if they'd like to hear our message, they started criticizing our beliefs. It wasn't a few concerns, it was an outpouring of rude criticism. I immediately wanted to get out of there. I wanted to cordially excuse ourselves since they were clearly not interested, however I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I finally stood up, and interrupted them between their hurtful words to let them know we were going.
When we had made it down the street, my companion asked me why I'd gotten so mad. I was startled at his question. I knew that I hadn't yelled, insulted, or stormed off. When I asked him what he meant, he explained that they could tell I was upset. That's what they had wanted and I gave it to them.
I felt embarrassed to have done that, but I was confused. What else could I have done? Just sit there? What good would that do? I'd rather visit people who were interested in our message. I couldn't stop thinking about it though...
Suddenly a thought came to my mind: I should have remained peaceful. Patience isn't about waiting for my turn or putting up with something annoying. It's about feeling peace in the midst of difficult circumstances. If I could have remained calm, I could have been an example of love, acceptance of others, and had the opportunity to share my testimony and feelings about the gospel with them.
But how? How could I possibly remain calm in the midst of such attacks? I had to somehow not take their words personally. I had to see them for what they were, and keep my perspective clear.
That's when the thought came about a big red balloon. I could visualize that they had a red balloon, starting out empty, in their mouths. Then, as they talked, the words would go into the balloon. The more they talked, the more it would fill up, but the whole time, I would be safe from being hurt. I could encourage them to get it all out by asking them about things that I didn't quite understand, and asking if there was anything else. By allowing them to fill up the balloon, they will get to the point where they would feel heard. Then, I could partially deflate the balloon by bringing up points that we agree with. At that point, I could calmly, and sincerely ask if they would like to hear our message. If they declined, I could at least share my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Knowing that I could have peace through a barrage of insults and attacks gave me greater confidence. I wasn't afraid of criticizing words. Instead, they would give me a chance to pass along the unconditional love that I feel from Christ.
