As a parent, I want to help my children to learn and grow as much as I can. My thoughts from my recent post on "Motivation to Change for the Better" got be looking for a simple exercise that could help anyone (myself and my children included) to truly grow and progress. This is a work in progress at this point, but has shown very good results already:
On a piece of paper, claim the blame. This means ONLY write what YOU did wrong. This should not include anything that anyone else did that was bad.
Next write 5 levels of disadvantages. To do this, write one reason of why doing it was bad (i.e. a disadvantage). That reason is considered level 1. Then, about that reason, answer the question, "What's so bad about that?" This deeper reason is considered level 2. Repeat until you have 5 levels for that disadvantages. Then come up with a different disadvantage and do 5 levels for it. Repeat until you can't think of any other disadvantages.
Now write all of the excuses, rationalizations, and minimizations that come to mind about why what you did isn't such a big deal. Leave room after each one.
Then after each excuse/rationalization/minimization, answer the question, "Why isn't this a good reason to do what I did?"
The last step is not written. Read and reread all that you've written, letting it penetrate and motivate you to truly change and to repair the damage you've caused. When you've done it enough, you'll know because you'll feel a pit in your stomach for what you've done. You'll feel willing to take whatever consequence and embarrassment that you deserve. You'll be willing to confess your actions to whoever was directly affected. You'll feel more than willing to repair all the damage. You will have a conviction to do much better in the future. You are truly growing and progressing toward your potential.
