In my own struggle, I've had to dig deep and take leaps of faith instead of just relying on my own reasoning. After doing so, I've had very spiritual and enlightening experiences that have solidified my faith and given me full reassurance such that my doubts either disappear or are set aside as non-critical.
I am no expert in helping others in their struggles, and I know that what works for me often may not work for others. If you have ideas that you have found work well, please let me know. In spite of my limits, I have a great desire to help in any way that I can, so here goes for what it's worth:
Check out this article on uncertainty: http://rebootauthentic.com/discomfort-and-uncertainty/
Here are some questions you could consider (intellectually, emotionally and spiritually).
- What do you truly, deeply want out of your life?
- What has brought you true happiness and peace in your life?
- What are all the things you have felt in your heart to be true through God's spirit (see Moroni 10:3-5, Gal 5:22-23, and D&C 9:7-9)?
- What are all the times that you have seen or felt God being active in your life?
- What are all the things you love about the gospel?
- What are all the things you love about God's church?
- Being brutally honest with yourself, what conflicts of interest, motives, biases, or tendencies do you have that could impact your perspective? Could these impact you or your family's fulfillment and happiness in life?
- What things bother you even though you're sure they are untrue?
- What are all the things that church leaders or members have done in God's name that you believe God did not want them to do? Can you see their perspective and why they may have done those things? Do you have enough context to do that, considering the diversity in culture, societal values, ignorance, laws, personality, tendencies, personal issues, etc? Can you accept that they are human mistakes and allow yourself to forgive them or at least accept that these things do not affect the truth of the gospel or God's church?
- What are all the things that you believe God did cause, or were His will, that bother you? Can you trust that God is wiser than you (see Isaiah 55:9)? This leap of faith can be very challenging but is also greatly rewarding (see Ether 12:6). There is a level of maturity where you understand that doing or saying certain things that you know will hurt someone, but through doing or saying them with love and courage will deepen relationships and help reduce judgment and fear in both directions. God knows all things and loves us with immense intensity.
- What are all the things that God has allowed to happen that bother you? Can you trust God that in His wisdom He does not stop us from doing what we choose (see 2 Ne 2:16, Alma 29:4, & Alma 14:10-13)? What experiences have you had where He has taken bad situations and used them for your good (see Romans 8:28)?
- What things are you unsure if they are true or not? Is it worth it to figure out which of the previously mentioned categories each of them will go into? Is there another category that is missing here?
- Do you believe that God exists?
- Do you believe that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true?
- Do you believe that the scriptures are true (at least what has not been corrupted later)?
- Do you believe that "His church" is ordained and guided by Him through (imperfect) leaders who He has chosen?
Again, this is a personal process. Take your time, have an open mind, be humble, and listen to your heart.
