How to treat others' ideas

I always thought simply "two minds are better than one". When people would share ideas, suggestions, or thoughts with me, I would find myself comparing them with what I thought, and when they didn't overlap with mine, I'd explain my own perspective and thoughts. I had the thought that we could get all the ideas onto the table and then we could fish through them and find the truth amidst all of it, finding the most important points, discussing them, and analyzing them until hopefully we agreed on some conclusion or agreed to disagree in the matter. This is fine if everyone involved thinks this way, but I've found that this is usually not the case, and sadly, that because I thought this way, I've probably hurt many people over the years. Two minds really are better than one, but there's something vital I was missing.

When someone shares their own ideas and thoughts with us, they are sharing part of themselves. They are going out on a limb, trusting us with part of themselves. If we reply immediately with a contradictory idea, it can really hurt. However, if we treat the ideas and thoughts with respect, interest, and validation, we are in turn showing respect, interest and love toward them. When we hear commonalities with what we think, focus first on those. This builds a basis of understanding upon which you can grow. Then, if the other person wants to hear our feedback, we can share it with them. If we don't know if they want the feedback, we can ask first. Many times they just want validation and encouragement.

Love and respect are more important than giving feedback. When the person wants the feedback, then we can give it without taking away from showing our love and respect for them.