How to Heal from Deeply Buried Pain

I believe that every person in the world has had deep, deep pain.  It could be from physical, emotional, or mental abuse, guilt, abandonment, rejection, neglect, ridicule, criticism, contempt, shame, judging, or anything else.  This pain almost always buries itself deep within us.

Any experience that remotely resembles one of the experiences associated with this pain can trigger instant hurt and lead us to reacting in a very hurtful and negative way, even if it was an innocent action that triggered it.  These are more than little pet peeves, although those may even be rooted in this pain.  These pain points are very sensitive.  They can keep us from being the kind of person we want to be.  They can in turn, lead us to hurting others very deeply.  Often psychologists diagnose emotional issues as caused by a painful childhood.  Even hurt from decades earlier can affect us today much more than we realize.

Pain points can remain even if we don't feel bitterness toward others, and while we feel that we have forgiven others for anything they've done.  Pain points are scars left behind that we don't imagine will ever heal.  I now know differently.

Jesus Christ has literally and fully healed some of my pain points.  I have full faith that He can heal all of them.  I'm going through that process at this point in my life.  I yearn for this healing because I believe it will completely change how I look at and treat others, especially those closest to me.  I have already seen a change in me, and they have too.  I'm writing this to help others who may seek this as well.  I'm writing this before I've healed all of my pain points so that I can do so while it is still new to me, and I haven't gotten so comfortable with the process that all of the steps blend into one.

Here are the steps that work for me.  Feel free to adjust these or come up with your own completely.  The most important thing is drawing on the love and Atonement of Our Savior Jesus Christ to be healed of the pain.

1. Identify some of your pain points.  Write as many down as you can.  This can be a very painful process, and it's important that it not break you.  If it is getting too difficult, pause and regroup.  It may be helpful to write down some smaller ones first.  
2. Once you have some listed, choose one small one.  I tried to take a group of about five that were related, and I found out very quickly that it was too much for me.  Take it easy, especially if this is your first time.  It will get easier with practice.
3. For one specific pain point: 
1. Talk to a friend or to God, describing the pain.  You will likely feel that pain welling up within you as you focus on it.  Say anything that you need to so that it is fully identified.
2. Pray and tell God that you don't want to feel that pain anymore.  Express your desire and will to be free from it through Jesus Christ.
3. Tell God that you accept Christ's suffering as full and complete payment for all that you have ever suffered around that pain.  Tell God that you forgive the people involved.  Use their names to make it personal and complete.  You may feel the burden beginning to lift at this point.
4. Next plead for Jesus Christ to remove the pain point.  Plead for Him to pull it out of you (like sucking venom from a snake bite or surgically removing a tumor).  Plead for the pain to be gone.  Repeat or elaborate as needed until the pain is removed.  This can be a painful process as the hurt and misery of the pain point is pulled out of you.  When it is done, you should feel a calm coming over you and no longer feel that pain.  
5. Thank Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for what they have just done for you.
6. Envision someone doing something that would have triggered the pain point.  Plan what you will do to respond with love, respect, and/or understanding.  (This is to prevent the pain point from returning.)
4. Whenever ready to do this again, repeat these steps, starting at step 2 for another pain point.
5. When the list of pain points is exhausted, try to identify more, starting at step 1 until you are fully healed of all pain points.

I wondered if the pain point was really gone.  I started to think about the specifics (from step 3), and instead of feeling pain, I felt peace.  It was amazing.  It was a miracle.

What's more is that in the place of there being pain in that part of my heart, I felt love.  The pain point was replaced with the Love of God.  It is amazing.  As I went through this process, I could feel myself changing.  I look forward to completing my entire list.  When I'm done, I will look for more pain points and heal those until I have none left.  That will be a new beginning for me in my life.  I believe that I will be much more kind, loving, and giving.  I will be the kind of person that I want to be.

How to move from failure to success - 2nd edition

In the 1st edition of this topic, I was thinking that we should focus on improving specific things that we do.  I'm not so sure now that that's the right approach.

I had an epiphany.  We are all human and mortal.  Our Heavenly Father wants us to let Him in to be part of our lives.  He wants us to rely on Him.  He doesn't expect or even want us to be perfect on our own.  He wants us to be perfect in Christ.  He wants us to become one with Christ by submitting our will to Him.  He gives us weaknesses so that we are humble (Ether 12:27).  Our weaknesses are not the problem.  Our selfishness, fear, guilt, doubt, uncertainty, hate, etc. are the problem.  

By uniting ourselves with the Savior, we will fully forgive others, drawing on His strength and the power of the Atonement, eliminating all of the hate and pain that we feel.  We will have faith in Christ, be willing to take leaps of faith, see others and situations with an eye of faith, and as we pass the trials of our faith, we will receive the testimony and knowledge that always follows those trials.  We will no longer be held back by all of the negative, and we will be free.  We will be filled with joy, hope, and charity.  We will have the companionship of the Holy Ghost, having his constant guidance.  We will be praying almost always, as if speaking with a friend, coworker, or companion that we do EVERYTHING with.

Anything that we put significant time and effort into accomplishing, we will accomplish. We will get better at it, it will become easier over time, etc.  That is simply how we function.  Where we put our time and effort is another way of stating our will.  Our minds will automatically find better ways to do whatever we choose to do.

If we put our time and effort into becoming one with the Christ, we will have immediate access to His guidance, happiness, faith, forgiveness, hope, and love.  As Ammon puts it, "I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" (Alma 26:12).  With that power, we will have no trouble at all speaking with respect, not taking our loved ones for granted, forgiving immediately, being transparent, being trustworthy, giving love abundantly, and anything else that you may want to work on.

The solution is to "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." (D&C 6:36).   "Pray always lest ye enter into temptation."  We will have sure footing, help others like never before, have joy more than we can today imagine, and do so much more than we ever thought possible.  Our weaknesses will be balanced by His strength.  We will find and have success.